Monday, December 28, 2009

Loss of a friend....

A fellow caregiving wife has lost her precious husband this Christmas. My heart grieves for his sweet family. I know his family is grateful for the time they had with him, and also that his pain and suffering is over, but they will miss him terribly.

The memorial service will be this week, so please pray for them.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Merry Christmas

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas. May this Christmas bring the blessings of love, joy and peace to us all.

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given...." Isaiah 9:6

Sunday, December 20, 2009

New Poll on Spousal Caregiving

Our old poll asked how long you have been a caregiver. Most responded 11 or more years. I was surprised at that. Talk about long term care!!!

We now have a new poll and I'm curious, what do you find more difficult to handle when it comes to caregiving. Let's see if I am surprised by your answers to this poll.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Finding Daily Respite

Everyone knows that a care giver needs time of respite. We needs breaks from the demands of being constantly on call. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could take a 4 day break every month or so to get away and refresh? Most of us don't have the time, back up caregivers, money or energy for that, but we can take a daily respite. There are days that my Dear Hubby doesn't need me as often, and those are the days that I find time for short respite.

Today, I took a three hour nap. Like an old family friend once told me, if you slept, it was because you needed it. I also sewed a bit on a few quilt blocks. Yesterday, I took my oldest daughter out to a late lunch. Sometimes, I get Dear Hubby settled in bed, water on his side table, remote control in hand, and say, I'm going to go in the other room and read some quilting blogs. Or sew a bit. Or when the weather is a bit warmer, I sit outside on the deck and drink a cup of coffee or Dr. Pepper. I have taken time to write a note to a friend, listen to music, read a book, or walk to the mail box.

One day soon, maybe in January or February, I'm kidnapping a girlfriend, and hitting the road. I'm taking a respite trip for a few days. The last respite trip I took was August 2008. That's too long!!! So until then, I'll make do with a few hours or even minutes here and there.

So, what do you do for a daily respite? Share your ideas.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

So, I just have to ask......

how has YOUR day been?? Have you had a rough time of it today? or have things gone smoothly?

I'll be honest, and maybe you'll feel free to be honest too. Today started off rather badly. I had plenty of time to get things done before heading out the door to spend time with my daughter, but something went wrong and then went from bad to worse.

It never fails....when I need to get out the door at a certain time, things always go wrong. My back has been bothering me the past few days and of course, this was the day that Dear Hubby needed to be transferred several times in a row. Ughh. So between painful grunts and whines, I was feeling the pressure build inside. Certain things around here can only be done by me, and when I'm not feeling 100%, well, we're just asking for TROUBLE!

And, then, literally 10 minutes before I walk out the door, we have a catheter issue and everything has to be changed. I was NOT happy, and everyone knew it. Dear Hubby was snappy, Dear Daughter dawdled, couldn't find her shoes and I was time pressured!!! I left the house with a bad attitude, snapping at my hubby and my daughter.

Of course, ten minutes down the road, I felt HORRIBLE. I did have a nice time out with Dear Daughter and when I got home Dear Hubby and I both apologized for our ugly words, sharps tempers and bad dispositions. And, of course, I apologized to my daughter.

The day has ended well, though. And, we're all on speaking terms....nice speaking terms.

I need to remember to plan better, prepare for last minute hang ups and most of all, remember to cut myself some slack, forgive myself and try again.

And, remember, tomorrow is a brand new day!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

God of our life, there are days when the burdens we carry chafe our shoulders and weigh us down; when the road seems dreary and endless, the skies grey and threatening; when our lives have no music in them, and our hearts are lonely, and our souls have lost their courage. Flood the path with light, run our eyes to where the skies are full of promise; tune our hearts to brave music; give us the sense of comradeship with heroes and saints of every age; and so quicken our spirits that we may be able to encourage the souls of all who journey with us on the road of life, to Your honour and glory.


Where is my Joy?

We often think of joy as the thrilling, jubilant voices of angels singing praise to the newborn KING!!!! And, yes that is joy. Radiant, abundant JOY!!!!

But what happens when you are going through the most difficult trial and test of your life? What happens when year after year you labor to care for the one you love, and the joy seems to be fleeting or maybe even, dare I say it, gone? How can we watch the one we love change, grow weaker, suffer and hurt and still feel JOY?

Dear Hubby and I discussed joy this morning....wondering what does it look like? Is it a constant PRAISE JESUS moment? Is it smiles, rainbows and hearts?

Our conclusion is perhaps joy in the midst of suffering is more like this: a quiet hope and peace.

When caring for someone with chronic illness, perhaps joy comes not as a smile, laugh or happiness. Perhaps it comes as a prayer.

Lord Jesus, today, there isn't much to smile about. I am hurting. My loved one is suffering. But this I know, you are here. Things may not change, they may worsen. But you are steadfast and faithful. My hope is in YOU. I know that you hold my heart and hand. I remember that my eternal security rests in YOU. I lie here, at your breast, as John did and say with Simon Peter, "Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life."